Shadow Girl
by j.charles @ textproductions
Shadowgirl had been in and out of my dreams for several years now. They ranged from extraordinarily attractive to terrifying in their content, and usually seemed to contain some sort of premonition. Inside of my dreamscapes she was always a real person. One that I recognized as extraordinary and gifted. But once I awoke she became simply a memory and a voice, neither of which I could place. They were familiar to me and I took them seriously, but I never attached them to Shadow until the last second that I could do something about it. Once reality got closer and closer to fulfilling the dream, her voice began to get more and more constant. This was her way of warning me.
Both of us came from strong homes with parents that cared for each other and the well being of their children, but both of us were given the opportunity to explore life in a capacity that proved our parents trusted us as adults. Even though the law didn’t. The curfews that applied to all in school didn’t apply to us. I ran with it; she respected it. My blood alcohol level in high school must've been toxic almost every day before I met her.
My habits have taken away the innocent pleasure of remembering most things in life, but I still remember how Shadow looked the first time I met her. It was in the back of a friend’s Caprice classic. I knew she would be hanging out with us tonight, but I did not expect an angel in a miniskirt. She was the perfect little princess, all curled up behind the drivers seat. Her legs were fair and gorgeous and the miniskirt would not allow me to overlook this fact. I slowly fit my entire frame into the ample back seat and introduced myself to her and her beautiful brown eyes.
“I’m j.charles” I said. All I could think of as I said it was how perfect she was. Her dark hair framed her face like a model, her clothes made all the right assumptions, and her boobs….they became the last thing on my mind.
“I’m Shadow,” she said, offering her hand.
I gently embraced it, exchanged pleasantries and wondered how, in a town this small, I could find such an amazing woman. It was in those first few seconds that I knew I wanted her to be in my life. Of course, the car ride lasted for several hours, up until our mutual friends had to be home for their curfew. I’m not even sure if we ever left the comfort of the back seat. It may have been cold, but we had each other’s company. It was so much more than enough for me, and she seemed content. The other two went off into a vineyard to do whatever kids do, and me and Shadow just sat there. I wanted to kiss her, but I wasn’t sure of so many things. She obviously was into me, or she wouldn’t have sat in the back of a furnished cop car for four hours and kept me entertained. But I hadn’t ever been interested in a woman that I wanted to respect and treat as best I could. I hadn’t ever met a woman that made me feel that way I was feeling that night, like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. It felt like being with her made me a better person, and I needed that so badly right now.
So there we sat. J.charles asking himself is he should kiss her, and Shadow asking herself when the fuck j.charles was gonna kiss her. She had been taught too well to make the first move, but she really liked him. j.charles wasn’t like the other boys. She saw something in him that was so good and natural, even though he came with such a big warning label. Maybe he just needed the right one in his life to tell him that being good is okay. To give him a reason to come home at night sober. Maybe, Shadow thought, he is just too shy to kiss me.
That night we talked so much that we ran out of things to talk about. We got conversationally exhausted to the point that we made up a new species; the possom people. I noticed that if a girl who is wearing a skirt crosses her legs, you can see up it. Shadow had on regular-ass white drawers. She made everything she wore just the hottest thing ever, and the granny panties were no exception. Just hot is all. That paired with the wedges she had on her feet was enough to make j.charles a very happy boy. But I felt bad. For the first time in my life I felt bad for what I had witnessed. I felt bad that she didn’t mean for me to see them, and I abused the opportunity. I would tell her this several months later, only to find out that it was on purpose. She wanted to me to find her irresistible.
We didn’t kiss that night. I didn’t even try, and i’m a pussy for it, but I didn’t. So the next night we went out and did the same thing as we did twenty four hours before. My friend and his lady picked us each up. I was the last to get in the car, and Shadow had on a yellow fleece, jeans and a pair of Nike’s. It was cold outside, so I had on my hoodie. Just looking at her once made my night. I had her all mostly to myself that night, and I spent a lot of it looking at her face, wondering how a girl this amazing could find a reason to want me. Which, incidentally, she managed to do to a lot of guys. Most of which she just didn’t want.
As our second night drew to an end we found ourselves in front of Shadow’s house. Both she and her friend were going to stay the night, and for the moment we were alone in the car to say our goodbyes. I grabbed her and gave her a big hug.
“I want to tell you something…”
“What is it, baby boy?” she looked up at me through her hair with those big ass brown eyes, and I kissed her. She let me kiss her, and she kissed me back. She squeezed me tighter and all I could smell was her neck, her perfume. I still remember just how it smells. I still remember just how she tasted. I didn’t intend for her to be immortalized in my sensory bank, it just happened. But i'm glad it did. I’m glad I had the chance to know you, Shadowgirl. Thinking about you close to me gives me something I usually forget I ever had.